Back in the Bottom Bunk

alternatively 'back in the buttom bonk'

I have been having a hard time reading / writing / watching movies / sitting still / being patient. I am working on sitting up straighter, accepting that my brother has weird friends, and being in as many places at once as possible (hint: I am lucky to love so many). I am doing a good job at beating my ex at Mancala and doing a good job at thinking about the things I’m not doing such a great job at. In other words, I’m working on myself and giving myself some breaks to have fun and not work on myself.

We (me and my ex) have been sleeping in the bottom bunk and my brother has been sleeping on the top. We don’t have many roommate conversations anymore because he is 16 now and likes to push his burgeoning personhood by playing video games until 1:30am.

Ok, so back to what I’m working on and where I’m at and how I even got to this loop in the first place. Does anyone else feel like they’re in a loop? I know the answer is yes because I’ve talked to a few of you about this and you have said yes. Yes you feel like the world is spinning in this alternative dimension and we’re half asleep and half too tired to do anything about it. Or is this just what being in your 20s feels like???! I have heard that the first year after undergrad is hard, so maybe that’s it. Plus other things are hard too.

After all the bad things were getting tired of happening to me last month, I called up one of my best friends and told him everything. He said, Ok Jolie, some friends are good for poking and I am going to be a poking friend. And then he told me that I’ve been sleeping all year. Not actually asleep, because I hate naps, but perhaps asleep to the way the world is changing around me and to the things I am here to do. Hard to hear after I spent the year trying extra hard to listen. But he is right, I’ve been asleep.

Now it’s my job to wake up. I’m the only person who can do that, and the only person who knows how. Sometimes it’s good to go back to the place you’re from, and trot around a little while, and find some rest. I’m in Michigan, back in the bunk bed. And I’ll find a way home.

Peace and love,

Jo